I Always Wanted To Live In A

If (o.j. Simpson) Is Acquitted, I Will Renounce My Citizenship. And If I Converse With Him At A Cocktail Party, I Will Say, 'well, There Are So Many People Here Who Haven't Murdered Anyone. I Think I'll Go Talk To Them.' I'll Also Riot.

Japanese Is Sort Of A Hobby Of Mine, And I Can Get Around Japan With Ease.

If Your Parents Never Had Children, Chances Are... Neither Will You.

When I Was A Kid In Nebraska, A Cantankerous Farmer, Known For Plinking With His '22 At Passing Cars In Which He Perceived Enemies, Ingeniously Rigged Up A Shotgun In His House, Trained On The Inside Of His Front Door So As To Widely Distribute Any Intruder.

I Guess The Best Advice I Ever Got Or Anyone Could Get For Doing A Talk Show, Though It Has Not Been Easy Very Often, Was From Jack Paar, Who Said, 'kid, Don't Make It An Interview. Interviews Have Clipboards, And You're Like David Frost. Make It A Conversation.'