I Act Like A Jerk Sometimes.

All Of Us Kids Ended Up 'doing Mom.' There Are Four Of Us Who've Tried Show Business. Five If You Insist On Counting My Sister The Nun, Who Does Liturgical Dance.

I Count On The Kindness Of Strangers.

Alcohol Is Really Just The Liquid Version Of Photoshop.

When You Act Obnoxious Towards People, Like On A Movie Set, They Say "we're Ready For You" And I Say "oh, Go To Hell, My Feet Hurt And My Head Aches." You Want To Have A Margarita For Lunch, And People Like These Little Ads And Production Assistants Are Like, "well, He's Drinking Again."

Parties Are Only Bad When A Fight Breaks Out, When Men Fight Over Women Or Vice Versa. Someone Takes A Fall, An Ambulance Comes, And The Police Arrive. If You Can Avoid Those Things, Pretty Much All Behaviour Is Acceptable.