Hup Hup Ha Ha Hammy Hee Hee!

I Had This Idea About Terrible Things Happening To Orphans, And I Knew It Was Such A Horrible Idea That The Idea Of Writing It Down And Then Submitting It Professionally Was Obviously Absurd.

Scolding Must Be Very, Very Fun, Otherwise Children Would Be Allowed To Do It. It Is Not Because Children Don’t Have What It Takes To Scold. You Need Only Three Things, Really. You Need Time, To Think Up Scolding Things To Say. You Need Effort, To Put These Scolding Things In A Good Order, So That The Scolding Can Be More And More Insulting To The Person Being Scolded. And You Need Chutzpah, Which Is A Word For The Sort Of Show-offy Courage It Takes To Stand In Front Of Someone And Give Them A Good Scolding, Particularly If They Are Exhausted And Sore And Not In The Mood To Hear It.

I Think If I Were Walking Someplace And I Saw A Corpse My Brain Would Tell Me It Was A Million Things Before I Believed It Was A Corpse.

It Is A Curious Thing, The Death Of A Loved One. We All Know That Our Time In This World Is Limited, And That Eventually All Of Us Will End Up Underneath Some Sheet, Never To Wake Up. And Yet It Is Always A Surprise When It Happens To Someone We Know. It Is Like Walking Up The Stairs To Your Bedroom In The Dark, And Thinking There Is One More Stair Than There Is. Your Foot Falls Down, Through The Air, And There Is A Sickly Moment Of Dark Surprise As You Try And Readjust The Way You Thought Of Things.

...you Know That A Good, Long Session Of Weeping Can Often Make You Feel Better, Even If Your Circumstances Have Not Changed One Bit.