Humor Springs From Rage, Hay Fever, Overdue

I Borrow To Pay My Honest Debts And Not To Squander Foolishly. What's More, I Confine My Borrowing To Those Who Can Well Afford It. I Don't Go Around Sponging On Widows And Orphans Unless They Have Plenty.

I Am Billed As A Humorist, But Of Course I Am A Tragedian At Heart.

An Ant On A Hot Stove-lid Runs Faster Than An Ant On A Cold One. Who Wouldn't?

The Earthworm Plows The Whole World With His Tunnels, Drains And Aerates The Earth… If You Ever Buy Any Land, Be Sure It Has Plenty Of Earthworms Toiling And Moiling All Day So That You Can Sit Down And Relax.

Just When You're Beginning To Think Pretty Well Of People, You Run Across Somebody Who Puts Sugar On Sliced Tomatoes.