Humor Is A Show Of Both Strength

If Anger Were Mileage, I'd Be A Very Frequent Flyer, Right Up There In First Class.

Truth Is Like Nuclear Waste: It Needs To Be Dealt With Carefully. Sometimes It Needs To Be Buried Way, Way Out Of Town. And Sometimes It Should Never Be Uncovered At All.

The People I Work With Are Like Family. I Don't Mean This In A Nice Way.

...there Is A Celebrated Aphorism Insisting That The Best Way To Live Is To 'work Like You Don't Need The Money, Dance Like Nobody Is Watching, And Love Like You've Never Been Hurt.'...after Years Of Hearing And Reading These Lines I Have Decided To Tell The Truth: The Original Version Is Wrong. There Is A Grave Error In The Wording Of This Adage. The Correct Version Should Go As Follows: Love Like You Don't Need The Money, Work Like Nobody Is Watching, Dance Like You've Never Been Hurt. See? Doesn't That Make More Sense?

Once We Hit Forty, Women Only Have About Four Taste Buds Left: One For Vodka, One For Wine, One For Cheese, And One For Chocolate.