How Many Slams In An Old Screen

I Will Not Play Tug O' War. I'd Rather Play Hug O' War. Where Everyone Hugs Instead Of Tugs, Where Everyone Giggles And Rolls On The Rug, Where Everyone Kisses, And Everyone Grins, And Everyone Cuddles, And Everyone Wins.

When I Was A Kid I Would Much Rather Have Been A Good Baseball Player Or A Hit With The Girls, But I Couldn't Play Ball. I Couldn't Dance. Luckily, The Girls Didn't Want Me. Not Much I Could Do About That. So I Started To Draw And To Write By The Time I Got To Where I Was Attracting Girls, I Was Already Into Work, And It Was More Important To Me. Not That I Wouldn't Rather Make Love, But The Work Has Become A Habit.

Tell Me I'm Clever, Tell Me I'm Kind, Tell Me I'm Talented, Tell Me I'm Cute, Tell Me I'm Sensitive, Graceful And Wise, Tell Me I'm Perfect - But Tell Me The Truth.

There's A Polar Bear In Our Frigidaire-- He Likes It 'cause It's Cold In There. With His Seat In The Meat And His Face In The Fish And His Big Hairy Paws In The Buttery Dish, He's Nibbling The Noodles, And Munching The Rice, He's Slurping The Soda, He's Licking The Ice. And He Lets Out A Roar If You Open The Door. And It Gives Me A Scare To Know He's In There-- That Polary Bear In Our Fridgitydaire.

What Did The Carrot Say To The Wheat? Lettuce Rest, I'm Feeling Beet.