Houston People Are Way Cool. They're Smart,

Phil Hartman Was Brilliant, And Dave Foley Is A Really Funny Guy. Phil Hartman Was Actually Even Funnier Offstage Than He Was Onstage Because He Would Say Nasty Things. Dave Foley's Very Funny, Very Witty Guy, Very Quick.

Every Single Religion That Has Ever Been On The Face Of The Earth, Ever, Is A Cult. That’s All They Are.

I'm Really Happy That I've Been Able To Make People Laugh And Distract Them From Their Day To Day Bullshit At A Comedy Show Or Because They Enjoyed One Of My Cds Or Tv Specials, But I Don't Know How Many People Have Actually Had Life Changing Thoughts Because Of It.

The Only Time I Commit To Conspiracy Theories Is When Something Way Retarded Happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald Acting Alone.

I Don't Really Like Actors. Actors Are Like Terrible Comedians With No Punch Lines. It's All About Them. They Talk About Themselves All The Time. They Bore The Sh - T Out Of You.