Honestly, I'm Really Just A Teddy Bear.

It's Weird, I Was Such A Survivor And So Wanted To Be A Part Of Life While I Was Trying To Snuff Out The Life That Was Inside Of Me. I Had This Duality Of Trying To Kill Myself With Drugs, Then Eating Really Good Food And Exercising And Going Swimming And Trying To Be A Part Of Life. I Was Always Going Back And Forth On Some Level.

The Good News Is That By The Second Year, Those Cravings Were About As Half As Frequent, And By The Third Year, Half As Much Again. I'm Still A Little Bent, A Little Crooked, But All Things Crooked, I Can't Complain. After All Those Years Of All Kinds Of Abuse And Crashing Into Trees At Eighty Miles An Hour And Jumping Off Buildings And Living Through Overdoses And Liver Disease, I Feel Better Now Than I Did Ten Years Ago. I Might Have Some Scar Tissue, But That's Alright, I'm Still Making Progress.

I Had To Sit With My Senses. This Clear, Beautiful Intuition Took Over. I Knew Exactly How I Felt, And I Wasn't Confused Or Clouded Or Compromised. I Realized That None Of My Feelings Had Diminished, But I Might Have To Lose Someone I Truly Loved. I Didn't Want To Run Away From Claire, But I Knew Drug Addiction Was Strong Enough That I Had To Be Willing, If Need Be, To Let Go Of The Person I'd Just Fallen In Love With.

We've Just Learned How To Balance Ourselves A Little Better So That We're Happier Way More Of The Time Than Not, And, You Know, Being Happy Is A Radical And Desirable Act If You Ask Me.

Writing Music Always Happened For Me In Periods When I Wasn't Under The Influence Of Mind-altering Substance.