Homemade Sweaters Are Always Itchy.

When It Comes To War, We Focus More On The Mainstream Coverage Of The Event, Rather Than The Event Itself. People Dying Is Never Funny. Protest Puppets Are Always Funny.

Generally I Get Up At Around 7. But Oftentimes, I'll Be Lolling In Bed A Little Bit Earlier - Sometimes As Early As 5:45 - Filing In My Mind All The Things I Have To Get Done. Which Is, Of Course, Totally Unproductive.

I'd Rather Call Myself A Mischief-maker, An Imp, Rather Than A Satirist. Satirist Sounds So Self Important. Plus No One Is Calling Himself An Imp Right Now. It Makes Me Feel Special.

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

I Love The Challenge Of Taking Something That May Be Boring To A Lot Of People But Is Unarguably Important. It's Irresistible. I Always Take Projects That I'm Paid To Learns Stuff. I Study Much Harder Now Than I Did When I Was In College.