Hold On To Your Knickers, Girls!

We Are Still So Close, David And I. We Were At A Party The Other Day At My Mum's House And I Was Sitting On His Lap. We're Very Affectionate. And I Looked At Him And Thought After Being Married For 11 Years! We Were The Only Couple Who Were Even Near Each Other At That Party. We're Soul Mates.

In England, David And I Are Big Fish In A Small Pond. But In L.a., We Are Tiny, Tiny, Tiny Fish In A Big Pond.

I Don't Have A Nanny Or A Housekeeper, And I Only Have A Cleaner For One Hour Each Week. I Finish Work And Go Home. I Cook The Dinner. I Run Into Tesco And Do The Housework In The Evening.

Everyone's Showing Their Thong Out The Back Of Their Jeans. But You Shouldn't Wear Any. You Get A Better Line If You Wear No Knickers.

I Want A Big House With A Moat And Dragons And A Fort To Keep People Out.