Hockey's My Favorite Sport.

I'm No Day At The Beach. And If It Is A Beach, It's Hampton Beach. Ever Been There? It's Not Nice.

I Went To See The 'spider-man' Movies Because My Wife Is A Fan, And So Are My Kids.

Kids Are Incredibly Expensive. But It Pays Off Later When They Are Better Educated, Bigger, And Better-looking Than You. And Find You Incessantly Boring And Uncool.

I'm Really Good At Laundry, And I Have No Problem Cleaning The Kitchen.

I Don't Want A President Like Me! I Suck, Okay. I Want An Elitist, Smart Guy.