He Couldn't See A Belt Without Hitting

From The Happy Expression On Their Faces You Might Have Supposed That They Welcomed The War. I Have Met With Men Who Loved Stamps, And Stones, And Snakes, But I Could Not Imagine Any Man Loving War.

Too Much Brilliance Has Its Disadvantages, And Misplaced Wit May Raise A Laugh, But Often Beheads A Topic Of Profound Interest.

The Announcement That You Are Going To Tell A Good Story (and The Chuckle That Precedes It) Is Always A Dangerous Opening.

To Marry A Man Out Of Pity Is Folly; And, If You Think You Are Going To Influence The Kind Of Fellow Who Has Never Had A Chance, Poor Devil, You Are Profoundly Mistaken. One Can Only Influence The Strong Characters In Life, Not The Weak; And It Is The Height Of Vanity To Suppose That You Can Make An Honest Man Of Anyone.

My Sort Of Looks Are Of The Kind That Bore Me When I See Them On Other People.