Having A Baby, It's Like A Five

The Important Thing Is To Be Drunk.

Paris Hilton Is Going On A Goodwill Mission To Rwanda. It’s The First Time An Entire Third World Country Will Have To Get Immunizations For A Visitor.

The Only People I Owe An Apology To Are My Dead Parents. Except My Father Because He's Still Alive.

No One Has Ever Said To Me 'go Home And Make A Baby.' I Have Been Told Several Times To Go To Planned Parenthood And Make The Baby Go Away. Happy Hannukah.

If You Get Into A Customer Service Fight With A Hooker, Even If You're In The Right, You're In The Wrong.