Has The Mathematical Abilities Of A Clydesdale.

Sarah Palin's Book Is Big, 400 Pages. She Wrote The Book Herself And Agonized Over Every Word, And So Will You.

According To The Recent Polls, Bush Has A Slight Lead Over John Kerry. So Today, Bush Hung A Banner Over The White House Saying, 'mission Accomplished.'

Former President Bill Clinton Is On The Program Tonight. He Says That While His Wife Runs For President, He Would Like To Stay Out Of The Limelight. Well, He's Certainly Come To The Right Place. He'll Be Fine Here.

I'm Worried About John Kerry, He's So Confident Now That He's Already Planning His White House Sex Scandal.

How About That Oil Slick In The Gulf Of Mexico. And You Know, The Oil Slick Is Going Everywhere. So The Next Time Somebody Lands On The Hudson, It Won't Be That Big A Deal.