Guys You Have Way Too Much Invested

On The Show, I Do A Very Serious Thing. And A Lot Of People Have A Hard Time Reconciling That With What I'm Going To Do After The Show. They Can't Get It Into Their Heads: "how Can He Be Talking To Madeleine Albright One Minute And Then Somebody Half His Age...." They're Just Jealous. But I Never Made Any Bones About It. I Am A Player. Always Have Been.

Maybe Every Other American Movie Shouldn't Be Based On A Comic Book. Other Countries Will Think Americans Live In An Infantile Fantasy Land Where Reality Is Whatever We Say It Is And Every Problem Can Be Solved With Violence.

If Anybody Is So Mad At Vladimir Putin, You Know What They Could Do? They Could Advocate For A Gas Tax. He Gets All His Leverage From Selling Gas And Oil. If We Had A Gas Tax That Made That Less Palatable, He Would Be Less Of A Player On The World Stage.

Anyone Who Tells You That They Know, They Just Know What Happens When You Die, I Promise You, You Dont. How Can I Be So Sure? Because I Dont Know And You Do Not Possess Mental Powers That I Do Not.

Face The Fact That There's Only One Sure-fire Way To Erase Credit Card Debt. By Picking Up A Big, Shiny Pair Of Scissors And Cutting Your Wife In Half.