Guns Don't Kill, People Do.

It's A Cosmic Joke That I'm A Lesbian, Because I Understand Men So Well But Women Are A Complete Mystery To Me.

It's Not That I Don't Like Penises. I Just Don't Like Them On Men.

A Woman Will Allow Herself To Be Clouded By Her Emotions. Her Reasonable Thought Becomes Completely Unreasonable Over The Most Ridiculous Thing. It's A Girl Thing.

As A Standup, I Try To Change The World. As An Entertainer, I Try To Entertain. And As A Lesbian, I Try To Pick Up The Prettiest Girl In The Room.

They Are Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage, So That Two Gay Men Who've Been Together For Twenty-five Years Can't Get Married, But A Guy Can Still Get Drunk In Vegas And Marry A Hooker At The Elvis Chapel! The Sanctity Of Marriage Is Saved!