Grooming Oneself With All The Crazed Compulsion

As A Child, I Wanted Only Two Things - To Be Left Alone To Read My Library Books, And To Get Away From My Provincial Hometown And Go To London To Be A Writer. And I Always Knew That When I Got There, I Wanted To Make Loads Of Money.

If You Want Sex, Have An Affair. If You Want A Relationship, Buy A Dog.

Some Say That Cusk Has No Sense Of Humour, But Expecting Giggles From This Writer Would Be Akin To Expecting Sonnets From Benny Hill.

Sadly, A Lot Of What Passes For Feminism These Days Is Just Moaning About Men, Congratulating Ourselves On Nothing In Particular, And Mocking Them For Being Big Kids While Doing Everything We Can To Keep Them That Way.

Tears Are Sometimes An Inappropriate Response To Death. When A Life Has Been Lived Completely Honestly, Completely Successfully, Or Just Completely, The Correct Response To Death's Perfect Punctuation Mark Is A Smile.