Greed Can Overtake Smart.

New Rule: Someone Has To Tell Francesco Schettino That Embracing A Callous Policy Of "every Man For Himself" Doesn't Make You A Sea Captain. It Makes You The Republican Nominee.

That's America For You - A Red Herring Culture, Always Scared Of The Wrong Things. The Fact Is, There Are A Lot Of Creepy Middle-aged Men Out There Lusting For Your Kids. They Work For Mtv, The Pharmaceutical Industry, Mcdonald's, Marlboro And K Street.

The Difference Between The Three Abrahamic Religions: Christianity - Mumbling To The Ceiling, Judaism - Mumbling To The Wall, Islam - Mumbling To The Floor.

There Is Good News. Scientists Sent A Probe Down There In The Gulf Of Mexico Today And They Found Traces Of Seawater.

A New Cologne Is Coming Out. It's For Cowboys, And It's Made From Cow's Manure. That Way The Women Will Be On You Like Flies!