Good Taste Is The Enemy Of Comedy.

You're Always A Little Disappointing In Person Because You Can't Be The Edited Essence Of Yourself.

My Brothers Went To Work At 12 And Put Themselves Through School And Brought The Family Out Of Ruin Into Food And Clothing.

Critics Can't Even Make Music By Rubbing Their Back Legs Together.

In Real Life People Fart, In The Movies, People Don't. Why Not? Farts Are A Repressed Minority. The Mouth Gets To Say All Kinds Of Things, But The Other Place Is Supposed To Keep Quiet. But Maybe Our Lower Colons Have Something Interesting To Say. Maybe We Should Listen To Them. Farts Are Human, More Human Than A Lot Of People I Know. I Think We Should Bring Them Out Of The Water Closet And Into The Parlor.

Tolstoy Was The Most Gifted Writer Who Ever Lived. It's Like He Stuck A Pen In His Heart And It Didn't Even Go Through His Mind On Its Way To The Page.