Good Kids Are Like Sunsets. We Take

My Mother Won't Admit It, But I've Always Been A Disappointment To Her. Deep Down Inside, She'll Never Forgive Herself For Giving Birth To A Daughter Who Refuses To Launder Aluminium Foil And Use It Over Again.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will Last For Ever.

If Compliments Were Food, I'd Have Starved To Death 28 Years Ago.

Authorities Say Brain Cells May Shrink, But They Don't Necessarily Die. Frankly, I Am Cheered By The Fact That Something Is Shrinking. I'd Be Even More Thrilled If What Was Shrinking Affected My Dress Size, But You Can't Have Everything.

It Takes An Uncommon Amount Of Guts To Put Your Dreams On The Line.