God Is Silent. Now If Only Man

There Are Three Things Jewish People Worship-god, Chinese Food And Wall-to-wall Carpeting.

Having Sex Is Like Playing Bridge. If You Don't Have A Good Partner, You'd Better Have A Good Hand.

Show Business Is Dog Eat Dog. It's Worse Than Dog Eat Dog. It's Dog Doesn't Return Dog's Phone Calls.

My Gift Was In Comedy. I Found Out I Could Make Jokes. I Could Tell Jokes. I Could Write Them. So Over The Years, That's What I've Done.

I Should Have Known Something Was Wrong With My First Wife. When I Brought Her Home To Meet My Parents, They Approved Of Her.