God Is Like A Shitty Girlfriend.

Out Of The People That Ever Were, Almost All Of Them Are Dead. There Are Way More Dead People, And You're All Gonna Die And Then You're Gonna Be Dead For Way Longer Than You're Alive. Like That's Mostly What You're Ever Gonna Be. You're Just Dead People That Didn't Die Yet.

When I Take My Kids Out For Dinner Or Lunch, People Smile At Us.

Most People Are Dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some Other Guys. But Mostly Those Two.

I Watch A Lot Of Sports. But When I'm Not Working, I'm With My Daughters Every Chance I Get.

Last Week I Got A Flu That I Caught, 'cause My Daughter Coughed ... Into My Mouth.