God Is Either Cruel Or Incompetent.

Don't Knock Masturbation. It's Sex With Someone I Love.

As The Poet Said, 'only God Can Make A Tree,' Probably Because It's So Hard To Figure Out How To Get The Bark On.

I Took A Speed-reading Course And Read War And Peace In Twenty Minutes. It Involves Russia.

I've Often Felt That Life Is A Hard Deal And It's Unrelentingly Tragic And An Uphill Fight.

You Can't Control Life. It Doesn't Wind Up Perfectly. Only-only Art You Can Control. Art And Masturbation. Two Areas In Which I Am An Absolute Expert.