Gay People Got A Right To Be

Who's Judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul Judging A Singing Contest Is Like Christopher Reeve Judging A Dance Contest!

My Mother Got Sick When I Was Rich. And My Mother, You Know … I Don’t Really Want To Get Into It, But My Mother Was Sicker Than My Father. And My Mother’s Alive. My Mother’s Fine, Ok? I Remember Going To The Hospital To See My Mother And Wondering, ‘was I In The Right Place?’ Like, This Was A Hotel. Like It Had A Concierge, Man. If The Average Person Really Knew The Discrepancy In The Health Care System, There’d Be Riots In The Streets, Ok? They Would Burn This M-therf—ker Down!

When You're Doing A Big-budget Movie And You're Four On The Call Sheet, You've Got A Lot Of Free Time.

I Think All The Funny People Were Bullied. When They Talk About Outlawing Bullying, It's Like, What? You Want No Comedy Central?

Comedians Tend To Find A Comfort Zone And Stay There And Do Lamer Versions Of Themselves For The Rest Of Their Career.