Free The Snow Globes!

What Hamlet Suffers From Is A Lack Of Zombies. Let Us Say Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Show Up—ho-ho! Now You’ve Got Something That Stirs The, Um, Something That Stirs Things That Are Stirrable. Boom! A Pack Of Ravenous Flesh-eaters Breaks Open Their Heads And Sucks Out Their Eyeballs. No Need For Iambic Pentameter Because They Are Grunting, Groaning Annihilators Of Humanity With No Time For Meter. You’re Not Asleep In The Back Of English Class Anymore, Are You? This Is What I’m Talking About. Zombies. Learn It, Live It, Love It.

I Am Creating An Atmosphere! Oh, Unc, We’ve Finally Got Bodies In This Joint! Paying Bodies. We Could Have A Good Racket Going Here.” “i’m Not Interested In A ‘racket.’ I’m An Academic.” “that’s Okay, Unc. I Won’t Hold It Against You.

Really, Being A Librarian Is A Much More Dangerous Job Than You Realize.

Felicity Ignores Us. She Walks Out To Them, An Apparition In White And Blue Velvet, Her Head Held High As They Stare In Awe At Her, The Goddess. I Don't Know Yet What Power Feels Like. But This Is Surely What It Looks Like, And I Think I'm Beginning To Understand Why Those Ancient Women Had To Hide In Caves. Why Our Parents And Suitors Want Us To Behave Properly And Predictably. It's Not That They Want To Protect Us; It's That They Fear Us.

Beauty, Grace, And Charm My Foot. It's A School For Sadists With Good Tea-serving Skills.