Free The Snow Globes!

On Tv, Talking Heads Wrung Their Hands Over A Lack Of Traditional Feminine Values And Wondered If Girls’ Sports Were To Blame. Then They Cut To A Commercial Featuring A Sexy College Coed Vacuuming Her Dorm Room In Her Underwear.

I Knew It. You’re An Alien,” Said Her Former Best Friend, The Pale, Bespectacled Creature With The Spectacular Cleavage. “yes, I’m An Alien And I Still Made Cheerleader. And Now I’m Going To Steal Your Boyfriend To Prove Girls Can’t Really Be Friends.” “i Sat Back Timidly When You Torched My House, Killed My Parents, And Ate My Dog. But Now You’re Stealing My Boyfriend? That’s A Step Too Far!

Prohibition? I Drink To Its Health Whenever I Can.

You Evah Hear Of A Magic Screw?' I Cough Back A Laugh. 'no. No, Sir.

She Was Tired Of Being Told How It Was By This Generation, Who’d Botched Things So Badly. They’d Sold Their Children A Pack Of Lies: God And Country. Love Your Parents. All Is Fair. And Then They’d Sent Those Boys, Her Brother, Off To Fight A Great Monster Of A War That Maimed And Killed And Destroyed Whatever Was Inside Them. Still They Lied, Expecting Her To Mouth The Words And Play Along. Well, She Wouldn’t. She Knew Now That The World Was A Long Way From Fair. She Knew The Monsters Were Real.