Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps

Words Matter. Especially If You're Kicking Someone's Ass In Words With Friends.

Around Comics, I've Always Been Known For, Oh, That's Not Dirty, This Is Dirty.

I'd Like A Nice Piece Of Salmon That's Not Too Pink Inside And Yet Isn't Too Dry Or Crisp Either.

What I've Learned About Comedy People Is That They're Defined By The Harshest Level They've Been To, Their Personal Auschwitz.

I Was Going To Do A Big Radio Show, And I Said To My Driver, 'radio Can Wait, Take Me To The Full House House.' It Literally Was A Drive-by. I Photobombed The Full House House Yesterday. I Took Like 20 Pictures Because I Thought I Didn't Look Good In Any Of These - You Can't See The House! You Gotta Really Show That That's The House!