For The Love Of God, Folks, Don't

Did You Hear This? They Say Now Osama Bin Laden And His Buddy Mullah Omar Have Left Afghanistan Dressed As Women. They Dressed Up As Women And Went Across The Border Into Pakistan. I Think They're Going To Make A Movie About It. They're Going To Call It 'some Like It Jihad.'

That's The First Thing They Teach You In Bowling, By The Way. Don't Press The Ball Against Your Nose. The Other One Is Don't Lick The Pins.

Vladimir Putin Said The Tanks That You See Rolling Through The Streets Are Just Part Of The Closing Ceremonies Of The Olympics.

The Last Time The French Asked For 'more Proof' It Came Marching Into Paris Under A German Flag

I Don't Like Stand-up Comedy That Requires A Lot Of Props. I Really Respect People Who Can Walk Out Onstage Alone And With No Other Tool But Their Own Minds And Can Make You Laugh And Maybe Even Think A Little.