For The Love Of God, Folks, Don't

People Are Kind Of Upset With British Petroleum Ceo Tony Hayward. Over The Weekend, He Was Out On His Yacht. And When President Obama Found Out That Tony Hayward Was On His Yacht, He Was So Angry, He Missed A Putt.

They Say There Are About 12 Million Illegal Immigrants In This Country. But If You Ask A Native American, That Number Is More Like 300 Million.

Mitt Romney Looks Like A Guy Modeling Briefs On A Package Of Underwear ... He Looks Like A Guy Who Goes To The Restroom When The Check Comes ... He Looks Like A Guy Who Would Run A Seminar On Condo Flipping ... He Looks Like He Is The Closer At A Cadillac Dealership.... He Looks Like That Guy On The Golf Course In The Levitra Commercial.

Bad News, It's Going To Be A Huge Environmental Disaster, The Oil Rig Down There In The Gulf Of Mexico. The Good News Is They Think Now That The Oil Spill Will Be Diluted By The Melting Ice Caps.

At The White House, They Caught Another Fence Jumper Earlier Today. It Was Obama Trying To Get Out.