For Me, The Past Is Dead. Can't

For Me, Books Have Always Been A Way To Feel Less Alone While Being Alone. Perhaps If I Was Depressed And Isolated, Just Communicating With These Authors Through Their Sentences Helped Me.

I Didn't Think I Was In A Morbid Mood, But It Appears I Am. My Mind Goes Round And Round Trying To Figure Things Out, But I Always Come Back To The Same Two Things: Loneliness And Death. Life Ends Before We Figure Anything Out, Most Importantly How Not To Be Lonely. Solitude Is Fine. But Feeling Like You Have No One To Love - Abject Lonliness - Is Not Alright.

I Started Puberty Very Late. I Was Nearly Sixteen. And For Complicated Reasons This Late Arrival Of My Puberty Caused Me To Stop Playing Competitive Tennis. But Before My Puberty Problem, I Had Trouble With My Lower Back And With My Left Testicle.

I Am Part Of A Vast Generation Of People Who Perpetually Live As If They Just Graduated From College.

I'm Also Not Sure That I Look Up To Others As Knowing What The Hell Is Going On, Except Maybe Andre Agassi, Who, When I Interviewed Him, While Covering The U.s. Open, Seemed To Know What Was Going On. My Basic Assumption Is That We're All Confused All The Time. Some People Do Act More Confident, Though. Maybe They Aren't Confused. I Am. I'm Confused.