Fate Was Dealing From The Bottom Of

One Stifling Summer Afternoon Last August, In The Attic Of A Tiny Stone House In Pennsylvania, I Made A Most Interesting Discovery: The Shortest, Cheapest Method Of Inducing A Nervous Breakdown Ever Perfected. In This Technique..., The Subject Is Placed In A Sharply Sloping Attic Heated To 340 F And Given A Mothproof Closet Known As The Jiffy-cloz To Assemble.

I Have No Truck With Lettuce, Cabbage, And Similar Chlorophyll. Any Dietitian Will Tell You That A Running Foot Of Apple Strudel Contains Four Times The Vitamins Of A Bushel Of Beans.

As For Consulting A Dentist Regularly, My Punctuality Practically Amounted To A Fetish. Every Twelve Years I Would Drop Whatever I Was Doing And Allow Wild Caucasian Ponies To Drag Me To A Reputable Orthodontist.

Santa Barbara People Are Conservative-not Like In L.a., Where Everybody Wears Rhinestones On Their Glasses To Show That They Own An Airplane Factory.

Tomatoes And Squash Never Fail To Reach Maturity. You Can Spray Them With Acid, Beat Them With Sticks And Burn Them; They Love It.