Experts Say That Iraq May Have Nuclear

Mitt Romney Looks Like A Guy Modeling Briefs On A Package Of Underwear ... He Looks Like A Guy Who Goes To The Restroom When The Check Comes ... He Looks Like A Guy Who Would Run A Seminar On Condo Flipping ... He Looks Like He Is The Closer At A Cadillac Dealership.... He Looks Like That Guy On The Golf Course In The Levitra Commercial.

Right After The Show Tonight, I'm Going To The New York City Car Show. You Get To See The Models That Will Be Crashed Next Year By Drunken Secret Service Agents.

It's Autumn In New York. The Colors Are Changing — Yellow, The Browns, The Greens, The Oranges. And That's Just The Tap Water.

Earlier Today, We Got A Call From Stephen Hawking. He's A Genius, And After 6,028 Shows He Ran The Numbers And He Said It Works Out To About Eight Minutes Of Laughter.

We Inadvertently Bombed The Chinese Embassy. But Clinton Now Is Working Very Hard. He Has Sent A Letter Of Apology To The Chinese. And, He's Also Given Them A Gift Certificate For Future Nuclear Secrets.