Everything's Amazing Right Now, And Nobody's Happy.

Cars And Cameras Are The Two Things I Let Myself Be Materialistic About. I Don't Care About Other Stuff.

You Have To Do A Show As Honestly As You Can. But You Also Can't Afford Skepticism, Because It's Preparing For Failure, Which Is Useless.

I Had Five Dollars In The Bank That I Couldn't Have For Three Days Until They Charged Me Another 15. Leaving Me With -10. What Does That Mean? I Don't Even Have No Money Any More. I Wish I Had Nothing. But I Don't Have It. I Don't Have That Much. I Have Not Ten. Negative Ten. I Can't Afford To Buy Something That Doesn't Cost Anything. I Can Only Afford To Get Something That Costs You Give Me Ten Dollars.

Why Can't We Have Racism That's Ignorant But Nice? You Could Have Stereotypes That Are Positive About Race. You Could Say, "those Chinese People, They Can Fly!" "you Know About The Puerto Ricans? They're Made Of Candy!"

In 27 Years Doing This, I've Seen A Handful Of Truly Great, Masterful Standup Sets. One Was Tig Notaro Last Night At Largo.