Everything I Think Of Now Is Too

Canada Is Not The Party. Its The Apartment Above The Party.

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving. All The Food's In The Oven. And I'm In The Bedroom Performin' Self Lovin'.

They've Found A Link Between Chemicals In Shampoo And Obesity. If You're Eating Shampoo, Your Weight Is The Least Of Your Concerns.

Sarah Palin. Remember Sarah Palin? She Is Adorable. She Is Back On The Campaign Trail. Really. She's Going To Campaign In The Senate Runoff In Georgia. As Soon As She Finds Out Where Georgia Is.

Being An American Is Something I Wanted To Be For A Very Long Time, Probably Since I Saw The Moon Landing When I Was A Child.