Everyone Should Have An Evil Secret Plan.

My Biggest Regret In Life Is That I Didn't Hit John Denver In The Mouth While I Has The Chance.

I Don't Watch 'american Idol.' I Don't Watch Any Of That Stuff.

Where I Grew Up, The Basketball Courts Were Rarely Used.

I'm Sick And Tired Of Our Generation Being Called The Tv Generation. What Do You Expect? We Watched Lee Harvey Oswald Get His Brains Blown Out All Over. How Could We Change The Channel After That?

Did You Ever Notice They Never Take Any Fat Hostages? You Never See A Guy Coming Out Of Lebanon Going: "i Was Held Hostage For Seven Months And I Lost 175 Pounds, I Feel Good And I Look Good And I Learned Self-discipline. That's The Important Thing."