Everyone Is Happier If They Have Someone

Nothing Evokes The Prurient Like Puritanism.

Stop," I Said. "please Do Not Further Endorken Yourself To Me. You Have Great Hair And A Car That Is Most Fly, And You Have Just Saved Me With Your Mad Ninja Driving Skills, So Do Not Sully Your Heroic Hottie Image In My Mind By Further Reciting Your Nerdy Scholastic Agenda. Don't Tell Me What You're Studying, Steve, Tell Me What's In Your Soul. What Haunts You?" And He Was Like, "dude, You Need To Cut Back On The Caffeine.

She Was An Alien, Really - A Sort Of Eating, Pooping, Tantrum Machine - And He Didn't Understand Anything About Her Species.

Stephenie Meyer: Her Vampires Are Sparkly, Which I Think We Can All Agree Is Wrong.

Sarcasm Will Make Your Tits Fall Off.