Everybody's Got Cable.

It's Great That We're Bringing Democracy To Iraq. I Can't Wait To See How We Do It! What Are We Gonna Do, Give Them Our Civics Textbooks?

I Was Home Alone Watching George Bush Speak On Television. So It Was Just Really The Two Of Us. And As I Listened To Him, I Realized, That One Of Us... Was Nuts! And For The First Time Ever, I Went, 'wow, It's Not Me!'

Let Me Be Serious: Divorce Is A Sacred Institution Between A Man And A Woman Who Hate Each Other. God Wanted Adam To Pay Alimony To Eve, Not Steve.

You Know What Would Help The Instruction Form? Verbs! Verbs Would Be Nice! Because They Help You Get To The End Of A Thought!

I Love Anything That Gets Me Outside Of My Own Head. I Love Music Because It's Really Just - I Tried To Play Piano As A Kid. I Was Awful. It Didn't Help, And This Is Absolutely True, That My Piano Teacher Had Arthritis. And That's Not A Good Way To Learn.