Everybody Kind Of Gets To Be The

In Afghanistan This Week, Outnumbered Northern Alliance Rebels On Horseback Defeated Taliban Forces Armed With Tanks. Experts Say The Victory Is Just Like The Story Of David And Goliath And David's Friend, The Stealth Bomber.

Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps. Everyone Knows This Classic Tip, But I Say Why Stop There? Scream When Your Baby Screams. Take Benadryl When Your Baby Takes Benadryl. And Walk Around Pantless When Your Baby Walks Around Pantless.

Even When I Was At 'snl,' I Didn't Do Impersonations. I Always Wanted To Be The Kind Of Person Who Could Do Them - I Always Thought They Were The Coolest Thing On The Show - But I Didn't Have Any Experience.

If You Want To Make An Audience Laugh, You Dress A Man Up Like An Old Lady And Push Her Down The Stairs. If You Want To Make Comedy Writers Laugh, You Push An Actual Old Lady Down The Stairs.

Not Only Is My Wardrobe Totally Average, My Body's Totally Average. I Love All The Candy-fantasy Fulfillment Of Sex And The City.