Every True American Likes To Think In

Woman Is Quick To Revere Genius, But In Her Secret Soul She Seldom Loves It.

In The Stress Of Modern Life, How Little Room Is Left For That Most Comfortable Vanity That Whispers In Our Ears That Failures Are Not Faults! Now We Are Taught From Infancy That We Must Rise Or Fall Upon Our Own Merits; That Vigilance Wins Success, And Incapacity Means Ruin

The Dog Is Guided By Kindly Instinct To The Man Or Woman Whose Heart Is Open To His Advances. The Cat Often Leaves The Friend Who Courts Her, To Honor, Or To Harass, The Unfortunate Mortal Who Shudders At Her Unwelcome Caresses.

People Who Cannot Recognize A Palpable Absurdity Are Very Much In The Way Of Civilization.

The Worst In Life, We Are Told, Is Compatible With The Best In Art. So Too The Worst In Life Is Compatible With The Best In Humour.