Every Sunday My Dad Calls To Ask

The True Meaning Of Christmas Is Actually Centuries Of Gullibility.

Jeff Ross Has Been Roasting People Since Whitney Cummings Was Nothing But A Glint In The Eye Of The Man Who Raped Her Mother.

My Great Grandmother Threw Herself In Front Of A Bus. The Police Tried To Say She Was Committed Suicide But The Family Knew She Was Just Trying To Stop Civil Rights.

I Loved Stephen Wright, And I Loved Mitch Hedberg, But They Seemed Like Geniuses You Could Never Emulate. You'd Just Be Ripping Them Off.

I Actually Never Acted On "deadwood." I Have Meetings All The Time Where People Look At My Imdb Page And See That I Played The Part Of "accounting Clerk" On Deadwood. Actually, I Was The Accounting Clerk For Production Of "deadwood."