Every Puppy Should Have A Boy.

When A Child Is Locked In The Bathroom With Water Running And He Says He's Doing Nothing But The Dog Is Barking, Call 911.

Early In My Life I Had Made A Pact With Myself. I Would Never Eat Anything That Moved When I Cooked It, Excited The Dog, Or Inflated Upon Impact With My Teeth.

I'm So Bored. I Went To The Food Locker Yesterday To Visit My Meat.

I Got So Much Food Spit Back In My Face When My Kids Were Small, I Put Windshield Wipers On My Glasses.

Don't Worry About Who Doesn't Like You, Who Has More, Or Who's Doing What.