Dutch Is Not So Much A Language

You Can't Just Make Yourself Matter And Then Die, Alaska, Because Now I Am Irretrievably Different, And I'm Sorry I Let You Go, Yes, But You Made The Choice. You Left Me Perhapsless, Stuck In Your Goddamned Labyrinth. And Now I Don't Even Know If You Chose The Straight And Fast Way Out, If You Left Me Like This On Purpose. And So I Never Knew You, Did I? I Can't Remember, Because I Never Knew.

You Can't Dingleberry That! That's A Flagrant Misuse Of The Dingleberry!

Here's My Answer To The Very Real Existential Crisis That Grips Me Midway Through Everything I've Ever Tried To Do: I Think Stories Help Us Fight The Nihilistic Urges That Constantly Threaten To Consume Us.

When People Have To Choose Between Civilization And Warm Genitals, They Choose Warm Genitals

It Hurt, And That Is Not A Euphemism. It Hurt Like A Beating.