Don't Try To Teach Men How To

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.

I Admire The Pope. I Have A Lot Of Respect For Anyone Who Can Tour Without An Album.

Buying Something On Sale Is A Very Special Feeling. In Fact, The Less I Pay For Something, The More It Is Worth To Me.

Men Do Not Like To Admit To Even Momentary Imperfection. My Husband Forgot The Code To Turn Off The Alarm. When The Police Came, He Wouldn't Admit He'd Forgotten The Code... He Turned Himself In.

Husband: A Man Who Buys His Football Tickets Four Months In Advance And Waits Until The Day Before His Anniversary To Buy His Wife A Gift.