Don't Do It Quickly, But Don't Wait

I Worry About Fast Forgivers. They Tend To Forgive Quickly In Order To Avoid Their Pain. Or They Forgive Fast In Order To Get An Advantage Over The People They Forgive. And Their Instant Forgiving Only Makes Things Worse... People Who Have Been Wronged Badly And Wounded Deeply Should Give Themselves Time And Space Before They Forgive... There Is A Right Moment To Forgive. We Cannot Predict It In Advance; We Can Only Get Ourselves Ready For It When It Arrives... Don't Do It Quickly, But Don't Wait Too Long.

We Feel Properly Embarrassed When We Are Caught Doing Something That Makes Us Look Inept, Knuckleheaded, Or Inappropriate. Maybe The Difference Is This: We Feel Embarrassed Because We Look Bad, And We Feel Shame Because We Think We Are Bad. When We Are Embarrassed, We Feel Socially Foolish. When We Are Shamed, We Feel Morally Unworthy.

Forgiving Is, First Of All, A Way Of Helping Yourself To Get Free Of The Unfair Pain Somebody Caused You.

Some People Ask Who They Are And Expect Their Feelings To Tell Them. But Feelings Are Flickering Flames That Fade After Every Fitful Stimulus. Some People Ask Who They Are And Expect Their Achievements To Tell Them. But The Things We Accomplish Always Leave A Core Of Character Unrevealed. Some People Ask Who They Are And Expect Visions Of Their Ideal Self To Tell Them. But Our Visions Can Only Tell Us What We Want To Be, Not What We Are

Any Moment That Opens Us Up To The Reality That Life Is Good Is A Parable Of The Supreme End For Which We Were Made.