Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk-- Get Angry

Once I'm Performing The Show, I Think That Hour Show Has A Certain Intimacy With Our Audience. And That Intimacy Is Through The Lens And The Live Audience Is A Witness To That, Whereas The Audience At Home Is Actually The Object Of My Efforts.

Protect Yourself From Muslim Vampires By Making Your Neck Non-halal.

As A Rule, Germans Shouldn't Do Comedy. Their Last Box Office Comedy Was Nosferatu.

My Brother Billy Was The Joke Teller. My Brother Jim Had A Really Sharp, Cutting Wit. And The Teller Of Long Stories, That Was My Brother Ed. As A Child, I Just Absorbed Everything They Said, And I Was Always In Competition For The Laughs.

In The Beginning, God Created The Heaven And The Earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, But It’s Not “in The Beginning, A Monkey Evolutioned Gay Marriage.