Don’t You Wonder Sometimes, What Might Have

Because Maybe, In A Way, We Didn't Leave It Behind Nearly As Much As We Might Once Have Thought. Because Somewhere Underneath, A Part Of Us Stayed Like That: Fearful Of The World Around Us, And No Matter How Much We Despised Ourselves For It--unable Quite To Let Each Other Go.

I Still Have A Suspicion Of Charity And Think The State Has A Role To Play In Many Areas. And Although For Most Of The Years Since I Have Been A Rather Privileged Writer, I Identify More Closely Than Perhaps I Should With Those Social Workers. Had I Not Become A Writer That Would Have Been Me. Lots Of Our Friends Are Still In That World And I Do Feel Part Of That Generation Of People Who Were Rather Idealistic In The 70s And Became Disillusioned In The 80s. Not Just About Social Services Issues, But The World.

I Think Jogging Is Bad For Your Health. All That Pressure On The Knees And Back Cannot Be Good For You.

And So We Stood Together Like That, At The Top Of That Field For What Seemed Like Ages, Not Saying Anything, Just Holding Each Other, While The Wind Kept Blowing And Blowing At Us, Tugging Our Clothes, And For A Moment, It Seemed Like We Were Holding Onto Each Other Because That Was The Only Way To Stop Us From Being Swept Away Into The Night.

I Was A Little Concerned That A Lot Of People Thought I Wrote Merchant Ivory Movies. I Also Thought If I Was Ever Going To Write Something Strange And Difficult, That Was The Time.