Do You Still Kill Gerbils?

I Mean, Like Most Guys, You Carry Around This Girl In Your Head, Who Is Exactly Who You Want Her To Be. The Person You Think You Will Love The Most. And Every Girl You Are With Gets Measured Against This Girl In Your Head.

Bruises Mapped My Body From Bumping Into Tables And Tripping Over Curbs While Walking With A Book In My Hand, My Eyes Focused On The Pages Instead Of The Live Space Around Me.

Because I Withered Under The Glare Of An Actual Invitation, I Was A Firm Believer In Preventive Prevarication--in Other Words, Lying Early In Order To Free Myself Later On.

I Walked Inside Macy’s And Faced The Pathetic Spectacle Of A Department Store Full Of Shoppers, None Of Whom Were Shopping For Themselves. Without The Instant Gratification Of A Self-aimed Purchase, Everyone Walked Around In The Tactical Stupor Of The Financially Obligated.

It's Not The Loving That Hurts This Girl; It's The Understanding Of It For What It Is, That It Will Never Be Returned In The Same Way, That Threatens To Destroy Her. But To Unload The Words - "i Love You" - On An Innocent Party Who Didn't Ask For It, To Reach Across The Dark Space And Touch Him - It's Like The World She Knows Could End If She Dared Speak These Words, Dared Make Such A Move.