Do This Or You’ll Burn In Hell.

You Won't Burn In Hell. But Be Nice Anyway.

If You Can't Joke About The Most Horrendous Things In The World, What's The Point Of Jokes? What's The Point In Having Humor? Humor Is To Get Us Over Terrible Things.

When People Say To Me: Would You Rather Be Thought Of As A Funny Man Or A Great Boss? My Answer's Always The Same, To Me, They're Not Mutually Exclusive.

I Remember The First Check I Got For 'the Office,' And It Made Me Feel Sad. It Ruined It. ... Because There Was Sort Of A Nobility In Poverty.

Your God Is The Best God. In Fact, He's The Only God. All Other Gods Are Ridiculous, Made Up Rubbish. Not Yours Though. Yours Is Real.