Disrespect Is The Weapon Of The Weak

The Attempt To Be An Ideal Parent, That Is, To Behave Correctly Toward The Child, To Raise Her Correctly, Not To Give To Little Ortoo Much, Is In Essence An Attempt To Be The Ideal Child--well Behaved And Dutiful--of One's Own Parents. But As A Result Of These Efforts The Needs Of The Child Go Unnoticed. I Cannot Listen To My Child With Empathy If I Am Inwardly Preoccupied With Being A Good Mother; I Cannot Be Open To What She Is Telling Me.

We Don't Yet Know, Above All, What The World Might Be Like If Children Were To Grow Up Without Being Subjected To Humiliation, If Parents Would Respect Them And Take Them Seriously As People.

Almost Everywhere We Find . . . The Use Of Various Coercive Measures, To Rid Ourselves As Quickly As Possible Of The Child Withinus--i.e., The Weak, Helpless, Dependent Creature--in Order To Become An Independent Competent Adult Deserving Of Respect. When We Reencounter This Creature In Our Children, We Persecute It With The Same Measures Once Used In Ourselves.

The Grandiose Person Is Never Really Free; First Because He Is Excessively Dependent On Admiration From Others, And Second, Because His Self-respect Is Dependent On Qualities, Functions, And Achievements That Can Suddenly Fail.

Till Now, Society Has Protected The Adult And Blamed The Victim. It Has Been Abetted In Its Blindness By Theories, Still In Keeping With The Pedagogical Principles Of Our Great- Grandparents, According To Which Children Are Viewed As Crafty Creatures, Dominated By Wicked Drives, Who Invent Stories And Attack Their Innocent Parents Or Desire Them Sexually. In Reality, Children Tend To Blame Themselves For Their Parents' Cruelty And To Absolve The Parents, Whom They Invariably Love, Of All Responsibility.