Did You Ever Get To Wondering If

My Wife Never Lies About Her Age. She Just Tells Everyone She's As Old As I Am. Then She Lies About My Age.

Wall Street Is Where Prophets Tell Us What Will Happen And Profits Tell Us What Did Happen.

It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old By Yourself. My Wife Hasn't Had A Birthday In Seven Years.

Never Raise Your Hand To Your Children - It Leaves Your Midsection Unprotected.

Lincoln Was Known To Have Walked Miles To Borrow Books, To Get The Most Rudimentary Form Of Education. So What Do We Do On His Birthday? We Close The Schools!