Delivering The State Of The Union? That

When You Cut It Up, Put The Pieces In Your Mouth And Swallowed Them, The British Hamburger Shaped Itself To The Bottom On Your Stomach Like Ballast, While Interacting With Your Gastric Juices To Form An Incipient Belch Of Enormous Potential, An Airship Which Had Been Inflated In A Garage. This Belch, When Silently Released, Would Cause People Standing Twenty Yards Away To Start Examining The Soles Of Their Shoes. The Vocalized Version Sounded Like A Bag Of Tools Thrown Into A Bog.

"nationwide" Featured An Amazing Collection Of Apprentice Impersonators. From All Over Britain, Schoolchildren Materialised Via Local Studios To Give Us Their Imitations Of The Mighty. There Were At Least Three Uncannily Accurate Margaret Thatchers, Their Eyelids Fatigued With Condescension And Their Voices Swooping And Whining Like Dive-bombers.

Stop Worrying, Nobody Gets Out Of This World Alive.

On The Correctly Formed Pubescent Girl, A Speedo Looked Wonderful. When It Was Wet, It Was An Incitement To Riot.

Experts Say Men Think Of Sex Every 10 Seconds... What Do They Think Of In The Other Nine?