Covering Up, So Far As I Can

The Pictures From The First Professional Photo Session That The Young David Beckham Submitted Himself To Are Extraordinary. He Has A Barely Suppressed Smile, As Though He And The Cameraman Are Complicit In The Understanding That This Is Not Yet David Beckham We See And That There Is An Element Of Deceit In Selling The Photographs As Such

I Didn't Cry When I Left Free-booting, Smash-and-grab Papers That Would Have Appeared To Be Far More Natural Homes For Me And, At The Risk Of Being Vulgar, Paid Far Better For My Services.

What Men Don't Want, In Fact What Anyone Who's Any Sort Of Thrill-seeking, Intelligent Adult Doesn't Want, Is Some Crushing Bore Describing Their Emotions In Real Time Every Waking Hour.

Only Those Who Haven't Got The Wit To Speak For Themselves Would Ever Want Their Clothes To Do It For Them.

Transsexualism Is, Basically, Just Another, More Drastic Twist On The Male Menopause.